not such a beautiful day

So yesterday I discussed the trauma of a cancelled Depeche Mode concert that still haunts me 20 years later ... well today was supposed to be A Beautiful Day in more ways than one because I was supposed to see U2 tonight. But then Bono - who I thought was invincible seeing as he is saving the world and all - proved himself to be an actual aging rock star by throwing out his back rehearsing for the tour. This means that the show has been "postponed" most likely until sometime in 2011. This saddens me to no end. So to make myself feel better, I found this early U2 video for I Will Follow ... the dancing is priceless.

Enjoy the silence

So I don't really have much to say about this week's bachelorette episode, as it really was the least dramatic rose ceremony ever. Chris N said about 12 words the entire season, so it was no big surprise to see him go. And while I enjoyed the visual of Ali and the Wrestler leaving Kasey behind on the glacier, it didn't really compare to when Jillian kicked Robby off a train somewhere between Golden and Lake Louise. I will say however that Rated-R should change his name to Iceland-ICK ... cause really, he was just being an ass.

But on to Kirk, who I am crushing on and now realize I made fun of in the first episode because he brought a scrapbook. I take it back - Kirk, I will go sweater shopping with you anytime, and please feel free to take pictures and put them in a book with puffy stickers and shooting stars. I will glady accept your scrapbook creation. Plus the asbestos story was great and felt real, not at all some sort contrived story made up by ABC to bring the drama. Plus it brought me back to my youth ... When I was in grade 7 I was supposed to go see Depeche Mode. It was to be the first concert I went to without my parents (my first concert period was a few years earlier - Whitney Houston). But then, Dave Gahan et al refused to perform at the arena because the ceiling contained asbestos. The concert was cancelled and I was crushed ... I have yet to see them live and would love to some day. Maybe Kirk will take me?

inmate #1027820

Today is the 20th, not the 17th, but I watched a fascinating show today - "June 17,1994." Part of Espn's 30 for 30 it is a series of documentary films detailing the issues, trends, athletes, teams, rivalries, games and events that transformed the sports landscape from 1979 to 2009. I've caught a few of them - the one about the South African Rugby Champions was much better than the film Invictus (which I did enjoy). But today's episode was about the events of June 17th, 1994 which was not only the day OJ fled in the white Bronco, it was also the day of the Rangers' victory parade for winning the Stanley Cup, Arnold Palmer's last round of US Open, the opening day of the 1994 FIFA World Cup in Chicago and Game 5 of the NBA finals. A lot was happening that day - who knew?

The whole documentary was essentially made up of news coverage, as in many ways it was the beginning of the CNN 24-hr news cycle and reality TV. The commentary of the NBA announcers was particularly interesting as they watched the game but tried to update the viewers on the fact that an American sports hero was being pursued by police while he held a gun to his own head and threatened to kill himself. Apparently 93 million people watched OJ run ... and I was one of them. I remember I was in grade 12 and my friend MH was having a party. People would go outside for a smoke and yell back inside at everyone watching, "has he killed himself yet?" or "are they ever going to run him off the road?" or "how to you spell Kato Kaelin?" Debating his guilt was a hot topic too. Flash forward 16 months, I'm in my first year of university, living in res and we are all gathered around the TV waiting for the verdict. The story has such a weird ending, as he is now in jail for armed robbery and kidnapping.

According to the 30 for 30 website, Steve Nash has done a film on Terry Fox. This will be a must see for me as I have such a soft spot for Fox ... and by soft spot I mean whenever there is a story about him I break down in inconsolable sobs. Not pretty.

p-dubs

I saw Get Him to the Greek last night ... laughed out loud. A lot.
Most pleasant surprise = Diddy (or as I like to call him, p-dubs). Oh and Lars Ullrich. Yep, they are both in the same movie.

That's really all I have to say about that.

to guard and protect

Dear potential suitors,

Please find below a few notes on the dos and don'ts of our relationship:

1. Never, ever, refer to me as a butterfly. In person or off camera.
2. My heart does not need to be guarded or protected. Saying it over and over again won't help your cause.
3. Please don't spontaneously break into song - with or without guitar. But if you must sing (i.e. we're auditioning for a Broadway show), please sing directly into my eyes. They are the window to the soul after all.
4. Don't ask me to jump into your heart. And definitely don't ask me to stay there awhile.
5. If I am sick and surrounded by other men who I obviously don't want to talk to, please take me out of my misery, walk me to my hotel room and tell me a bedtime story (preferably a dirty one).
6. If it's your birthday, and I had planned a great date, but then I get sick, the right thing to do is bring me flowers and soup. This kind gesture will pay off for you eventually (i.e. you will get a hometown date).
7. If you are a weatherman, stop using your meteorological knowledge in pun-form. It does not make you seem clever, it just reinforces the fact that you are an idiot.
8. Don't get a tattoo with a heart, a sword, a rose, a medieval knight, a dagger, a horse or any other ugly image that symbolizes your attempt to protect me. Getting permanent ink does not make you genuine, it just makes you creepy. One that has 11 diamonds to represent the random 11 men that ABC selected to make a TV show is not touching, it's frightening.
9. If you insist on getting a tattoo, please get one of your recently passed mother's signature across your chest. Now that is genuine. Telling me that you see her in rainbows will also melt my heart.

So there you have it - it is not a complete list, but it should get you started. By following the simple rules posted above, we will be well on our way to making a connection ... I can't wait to go on this amazing journey with you.

Yours truly,

K

I hear the water in Arkansas is ... very hard

These were the words uttered by Bill to Sam in the second most amazing scene in last night's season premiere of True Blood. The most amazing scene was of course the one where Eric was naked.

I am really not a fan of the vampire phenomenon ... my utter hatred of Twilight could take up a post of its own. I read the first book in an effort to understand the pop culture zeitgeist and once I finished it, I vowed not to read anymore. The writing was horrible, the circumstances ridiculous, and the characters wooden. The message it sends to young girls is horrible too - Bella can never be complete unless Edward is around? And it's ok to get engaged before you are out of high school? I think not. If I was really interested in the principles of your Mormon faith Stephanie Meyer, I would talk to the guys who wear the ill-fitting suits and wander around getting doors slammed in their faces. Plus the whole phenomenon of grown women lusting after 17-year old Jacob Lautner is just creepy (yes, I'm talking to you RB).

So back to True Blood - campy adult fun with telekenetics, shapeshifters, werewolves, meanads and vampires. And this guy. Highly recommended.

what could have been

Just caught up on "so you think you can dance" season 7 ... the actual performance shows begin this week. This is a show I definitely enjoy. I think were I a pre-teen now, I would ask my parents to put me in dance. Of course, when I was a kid, I took ballet at the local community centre. I was 5 - needless to say it didn't stick. Then when I was 12 and 13 , my friends who were still dancing were doing boring broadway/jazz type stuff with crazy sparkly makeup, lots of dep gel, and bad leotards. It was the late 80s and hip hop hadn't quite made it to my white bread, all girls junior high. Too bad. The course of my life could have been dramatically different. As an adult I have attempted to learn some new moves - a few years ago I took both funk and hip hop - both of which let to nothing more than massive embarrassment. I'm still convinced though had I stuck it out when I was younger, this could have been me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMedv-940I8&feature=related

tonight, tonight

As previously mentioned, I wasn't all that into the Stanley Cup playoffs this year. But, I am a sucker for any type of montage put to music (this one still makes me cry). And so, here is the HNIC tribute to this year's playoffs. See you in the fall boys ...




And now onto the World Cup ...

Pedro's got my vote*

Some quick thoughts on Monday's bachelorette episode ...

• For some reason, I keep wanting to call Roberto Pedro. Makes no sense, but there it is. And so he shall be named.


• Steve looks too much like his namesake Steve Guttenberg and so he was just a blip on the show ... much like the original Guttenberg was just a blip on the Hollywood scene.**


• Continuing on with the 80s Hollywood stars look alike theme, the Weatherman totally reminds me of an awkward early Tom Cruise. This is not a good association. In the words of my wise friend RB "I could not dislike the Weatherman more."


• I miss Steven Page - his harmonies were the only thing that made the BNL interesting.


• I am all over Chris L's tattoo and the meaning. His mouse hunting is awesome too. I want to go to there.


• I would definitely roll around in bed with Kirk anytime, anywhere. I also enjoyed the requisite hot tube kiss. Love that he was the first one. In the wise words of Jillian Harris - she popped his hot tub cherry.
  
• Hunter + Ali's date = snooze ville ... I actually fast forwarded most of it.
  
• Did anyone else notice that back at the house Craig was drinking straight from a full bottle of wine? I think he would be a fun drunk and I recommend that ABC show more of that.
  
• I don't have much to say about Rated R's trip to Ali's "house," but I do concede that it was a dick move to lie about it and make pointed comments about it.


• There were two ridiculous outfits at the rose ceremony. Once again Ali had crap-tastic style. That dress would have been way cuter had it been short. And Jesse, with the jean-on-jean? Round here that is known as an Alberta Tuxedo and it is definitely not a compliment.

Once again I had to watch this episode all by myself ... it is way more fun to watch it with the girls and I hope next week we can all watch it together! The comments will be way funnier then. I promise.

*sort of - dude says all the right things and she's obviously into him, but I think I like Chris L more ... and maybe Kirk too?

**In doing my in-depth research for this post I just learned that it was recently announced that there is to be another sequel to Three Men and A Baby ... According to this article, it is highly anticipated. That might be an overstatement. Tentative title = Three Men and A Bride. Insert your groan here.

game six

Tonight is game six between the Hawks and the Flyers. The Stanley Cup could potentially be given out tonight. Often times I am all over the finals, but I gotta say, this year I couldn't care less. Probably because my two teams (the Flames and the Sens) lost early on and then the cinderella-story Habs couldn't quite complete the fairy tale ending. Last year was much more exciting, for a variety of reasons.

First off, the Red Wings, a team I appreciate because of their continued dominance and longevity, was once again in the finals. The fact that they have a whole bunch of Swedes who play for them helps too. Sadly, this year, instead of Zetterberg's handsome playoff beard, we get Patrick Kane's mullet. Secondly, Sid the kid took home the cup, cementing his status as The Next One. I'm sorry, but I just can't root for Chris Pronger. Finally, and dare I say most importantly, during the 2009 finals I was involved in a rather steamy bet that as Christie so deftly pointed out, had no losers. This year, I have no such luck.

swedish vs swedish

So today at work someone brought in a costco-size bag of Swedish berries. I ate quite a few. Maybe even half the bag. It got me contemplating the age old question ... which do I prefer, Swedish berries or Swedish men? Looking at the evidence, I'm not entirely sure.

exhibit a: tasty treat (aka candy)


exhibit b: tasty treat (aka Alexander Skarsgard)



I will definitely have to think on this one.

thank god for mr. dangerous ...

'cause really, if Craig M hadn't been such an enormous a-hole, what would there have been to talk about back at the house? And while the guy is a definite jerk, I think he was totally legit in calling out The Weatherman's white jacket ... it was bad. Really bad.

So it seems Ali took my advice, because her outfits were much improved on episode 2 ... she seemd much more natural in her tank top and converse, and she took a page from Jillian's playbook and went with a cute cocktail dress for the rose ceremony. Even the long Vegas dress was more acceptable. Although I was slightly distracted by Jesse - dude can rock a suit, not to mention a swimsuit. I think she's keeping him around solely for his looks. Not that I'm complaining.

As for the date with Frank to the Hollywood sign, am very curious about the car breakdown. Could Frank not have at least attempted to show his manhood by popping the hood and pretending to try to fix it? Who went to the highway to retrieve it? Please tell me it was Chris Harrison. And why is Frank so relunctant to tell us what sort of store he manages? I would also like to point out that Ali totally lied when she said that no one gets to go to the Hollywood sign. She obviously doesn't remember the graduation scene in the original 90210 when the crazy kids from West Bev managed to reconfigure the sign for their senior prank, as evidenced here (the reveal is at 5:04):




As for the beach date, I gotta say that I am embarrassed for the female species that once again, a bachelorette fell for the guitar move. Enough with the guitar, it's really not that sexy. I also still don't know who half the guys are. The guy that was helping The Weatherman into his speedo was pretty ripped. I think his name was Steve? There was a guy with a green shirt later that night ... no idea of his name, but he got a rose, not sure why. And poor Vancouver guy - not only did they not show his one-on-one time during the group date, he didn't even get an exit interview after getting the boot. Poor form.

I still think Chris L needs to mention his dead mother and move back to Cape Cod - Ali has a really good sad/pout face that I'm sure ABC would love to show more of. And while I've always known that the bachelorette doesn't pick who she goes on dates with, this episode certainly proved it. Had she had her choice, she would definitely have picked Roberto for a solo date, because whenever she's around him, she effectively goes mute. Like the salsa last episode, the baseball was a nice touch. He's a catch for sure (get it?). I also like Kirk - he's cute, but I need more information beyond just the shot of his abs. Not that I'm complaining.

My one suggestion for next episode is that they don't show anymore of The Weatherman - while Ali appreciated that he had her back, he's not that entertaining and is taking up way too much screen time. Plus he seemed to be drinking vodka crans. Not feeling it. ABC would be advised to show less of him and spend more time showing us the men relaxing by the pool at home; sans shirts s'il-vous-plait.

all aboard

There has been much debate about high speed rail in Alberta ... there are multiple reasons why a fast train linking Calgary and Edmonton would be awesome:

1. the avoidance of gasoline alley in Red Deer;
2. going there and back in 3 hours instead of 6 makes a work-related day trip that much more palatable;
3. it's much easier to bb message while sitting on a train seat than it is while driving 130kms an hour with mack trucks speeding by;
4. the whole reduction of CO2 emissions thing;
5. going to see shows that can't play in the Saddledome because of the stupid roof (i.e. Justin Timberlake) would be that much easier; and finally,
6. I love my Edmonton peeps and it would be fun to see them more often.

I'm sure there are other reasons (i.e. integrating the economy, ease of doing business, cool looking trains, etc, etc), but I recently discovered a new, much more important one while travelling from Montreal to Ottawa on the train this past Sunday: there are hot men on trains. Seriously, there were 3 very attractive, age appropriate men in my train car ... gives a whole new meaning to "riding the rails."