After the Jake Pavelka debacle, I swore off the Bachelor series ... but then it showed up again and I realized that I didn't swear off of it, so much as the show went off the air and I couldn't wait for it to start again. Plus I realized that like the Bachelorette version way better. The men are just more fun - not as ridiculous (usually) and much nicer to look at (Reid and Kyptin, I'm talking to you!). So here are my initial thoughts (aka catty judgments) on the premiere episode:
First off, Ali needs a new stylist. She should definitely cut her hair - it is way too brassy and thin to be that long. She looks way better when her hair is up, so I decree that she get a bob. Next she should avoid ball gowns/prom dresses/bridesmaid outfits at all costs - the dress she was wearing as she greeted the limos was horrible. It looked like she was wearing a purse on her ass. The outfits she wore in her introduction video when she discussed how she was there for the right reasons, choosing love over work, looking plaintively into the sunset, blah, blah, blah, were much better.
As for the men:
- Frank was a bit crazy, all bug-eyed and jumping out of the limp. He said that he had quit his job as a highpowered M&A guy to be a screenwriter, but underneath his name it said he was a "retail manager." I took this to mean that he works as a shift supervisor at Moore's Menswear.
- Craig gave all Canadians a bad name with his ridiculous hair and pompous attitude. That said, I liked his tie. While I'm surprised Ali kept him, I'm thinking perhaps he is an ABC plant is being kept to bring the drama. I also didn't understand why they used the Toronto skyline when dude is from Sarnia ... I guess smokestacks and tract housing don't make for quality tv?
- Kasey has got to go ... buddy is way too over-eager. He kept on saying how he wanted to guard her heard - what does that even mean? It's protected by her rib cage, she doesn't need a kid named Kasey. The 3 of us watching also decided that he might have been deaf at some point as he had a bit of a weird speech thing going on ... or maybe it's just that he talks way too quickly?
- Jesse - the guy from Peculiar, Montana. His intro speech was lame, but he was rocking the 3-piece suit, which I love, so he can stay.
- Kirk - he's kind of like the male version of Tenley. But instead of dancing, he scrapbooks.
- Hunter played the ukulele, an instrument to which I take no exception. His song was pretty good too, althought it would have been better if he had somehow been able to incorporate Wes's "they say love don't come eaaaaaassssssyyyyyy ..." lyrics
- Roberto's dimples definitely give him an advantage - I pick him for final 2
- Chris L is my other pick. Black labs, beach-side property, sob story about his mother. I'm all over it.
- It was really too bad that Shooter led with the premature ejaculation story, because he was pretty cute.
- There were a few others whose names escape me, but am I ever glad she got rid of the lawyer in the powder blue suit with the bad hair because he was just awful. The guy from Vancouver was cute too, but he had some weird hair gel malfunction which made it look like had bangs. Not sure how I feel about Rated-R - not a fan of the soul patch, but I do feel that he didn't get a fair shake from the other guys. How can you not like a fake wrestler with a heart of gold, who speaks a mysterious slavic language with his grandmother?
First off, Ali needs a new stylist. She should definitely cut her hair - it is way too brassy and thin to be that long. She looks way better when her hair is up, so I decree that she get a bob. Next she should avoid ball gowns/prom dresses/bridesmaid outfits at all costs - the dress she was wearing as she greeted the limos was horrible. It looked like she was wearing a purse on her ass. The outfits she wore in her introduction video when she discussed how she was there for the right reasons, choosing love over work, looking plaintively into the sunset, blah, blah, blah, were much better.
As for the men:
- Frank was a bit crazy, all bug-eyed and jumping out of the limp. He said that he had quit his job as a highpowered M&A guy to be a screenwriter, but underneath his name it said he was a "retail manager." I took this to mean that he works as a shift supervisor at Moore's Menswear.
- Craig gave all Canadians a bad name with his ridiculous hair and pompous attitude. That said, I liked his tie. While I'm surprised Ali kept him, I'm thinking perhaps he is an ABC plant is being kept to bring the drama. I also didn't understand why they used the Toronto skyline when dude is from Sarnia ... I guess smokestacks and tract housing don't make for quality tv?
- Kasey has got to go ... buddy is way too over-eager. He kept on saying how he wanted to guard her heard - what does that even mean? It's protected by her rib cage, she doesn't need a kid named Kasey. The 3 of us watching also decided that he might have been deaf at some point as he had a bit of a weird speech thing going on ... or maybe it's just that he talks way too quickly?
- Jesse - the guy from Peculiar, Montana. His intro speech was lame, but he was rocking the 3-piece suit, which I love, so he can stay.
- Kirk - he's kind of like the male version of Tenley. But instead of dancing, he scrapbooks.
- Hunter played the ukulele, an instrument to which I take no exception. His song was pretty good too, althought it would have been better if he had somehow been able to incorporate Wes's "they say love don't come eaaaaaassssssyyyyyy ..." lyrics
- Roberto's dimples definitely give him an advantage - I pick him for final 2
- Chris L is my other pick. Black labs, beach-side property, sob story about his mother. I'm all over it.
- It was really too bad that Shooter led with the premature ejaculation story, because he was pretty cute.
- There were a few others whose names escape me, but am I ever glad she got rid of the lawyer in the powder blue suit with the bad hair because he was just awful. The guy from Vancouver was cute too, but he had some weird hair gel malfunction which made it look like had bangs. Not sure how I feel about Rated-R - not a fan of the soul patch, but I do feel that he didn't get a fair shake from the other guys. How can you not like a fake wrestler with a heart of gold, who speaks a mysterious slavic language with his grandmother?
I am sure I will thoroughly enjoy this season, especially when Ali gets a new stylist. I volunteer my services.
