So on Tuesday night I saw the weirdest fucking movie I have ever seen in my life. CG and I have a tendency to go see obscure foreign films, and more often than not, they end up being great. This one? Not so much. All signs pointed to an intriguing mystical film – it won the Palme D’Or at Cannes, was named the best Asian film of the year and got 4 stars from the Globe and Mail.
I did not get it. Ostensibly the story is about a dying man recalling his past lives as well as those people he had lost in his current life. A Buddhist story of death if you will. I think karma was supposed to be one of the themes. I don’t know what kind of bad karma I’m carrying around that meant I had to be punished by sitting through 2 hours of painful Thai cinema. Ugh.
In one of his past lives Boonmee was a water buffalo, and in another he was either a princess, a slave, or a catfish. This particular flashback was definitely one of the weirdest ones as the princess rejected the slave, so he then morphed into a catfish, started talking, convinced the princess to enter the pond and then began orally pleasuring her. For reals. Back in real time, Boonmee’s wife, who died 14 years earlier, returned one evening while he was eating dinner with his sister-in-law and his nephew. The dead wife sat down and drank some water. Then the reunited family was visited by a “ghost monkey” who looked a lot like Chewbacca, but with red eyes. Turns out the monkey was their long lost son (who went missing one day - Boonmee explained to his wife that he had spent a whole afternoon looking for him). Well it turns out the missing son was taking pictures of the ghost monkeys he found in the trees and then mated with one, and as a result he too had become a ghost monkey. No one seemed too surprised at this turn of events. They then went for a walk, ended up in a cave, and Boonmee died, surrounded by ghost monkeys. His nephew climbed out of the cave, went back to town and became a monk. Then the monk took a shower, watched some tv, somehow exited his own body and went to a karaoke bar. And … scene. End of movie.
There were also some subplots involving the Thai military, communism and Laotian immigrants, but even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could figure out how they fit into the story and what their meaning actually was. I recognize that when the director talks about movies being too shallow these days, he is probably referring to people like me who watch The Bachelor and Jersey Shore, but come on people. This is a bit much. The reviews say it’s mystical and amusing. It was neither. In addition to my shameful reality tv addition, I also enjoy more significant “films” that make you think and question your reality. I hate to give myself too much credit, but if CG and I can’t find any pleasure or meaning in the movie, I have a hard time believing the rest of the population will. Seriously, this movie was dumbfounding to me.
All that to say, I do not recommend this movie. Unless of course you have a strong desire to see a woman experience orgasm thanks to the efforts of a talking catfish. In that case, go nuts.
And of course, if you've ever wondered what a ghost monkey looks like, please see the above picture.
