call me maybe

It's a good song in theory.  Catchy and simple.  Its evilness lies of course in the fact that it is grammatically incorrect, was played non-stop all summer and that it encourages you to do stupid things like actually give someone your number in the hope that they will call you maybe.

I bring this up now because a few weeks ago I went out with RB, MZ and KF.  I would like to say that it all started off innocently, but RB and I hadn't had a night out together in awhile and I had spent 2 weeks in Prince George (don't ask) so we were both looking to go out on a rippy tear (my mother's words).  But it quickly went off the deep end when I had 2 strong margaritas from Ox and Angela before food arrived.

We ran into some friends of mine, one of whom is a man about town and so I blame him for everything that happened that night.  And by everything, I really mean only one thing.  That one thing being that we ended up at a bar, where a DJ I sort of know and kind of have a crush on, was playing and for some reason (those reasons of course being tequila, RB and man about town referenced above) I decided to write my name, my number and the words "I'm all shook up" on a napkin and give it to said DJ.  I promptly ran out of the bar as quickly as possible.

Needless to say I have not heard from him and I will never return to that bar.

cheap politics

So I've mentioned my disdain for Harper, (here and here) but thanks to his latest attack ads, it's crossing over into absolute hatred.

This ad is ridiculous and wrong on so many levels. Last time I checked, a coalition government is completely legal, not at all shady, and part of our parliamentary democracy. Harper is trying to scare the uneducated amongst us and I think it's completely wrong. Jeffrey Simpson's article in yesterday's Globe and Mail says it much more eloquently than I can, and Ignatieff may have his faults, but coming back to Canada to become an elected official is not one of them. Attacking his motives is cheap politics and I can't believe I live in a country where our prime minister thinks this type of mud slinging is completely acceptable.

I could go on but I won't. Mainly because watching this ad makes me want to throw my computer out the window and my new job doesn't pay me enough to buy a new one.

at least he's not wearing a bolo tie

So I am still unbelievably annoyed by Stephen Harper and his ridiculous decision to kybosh the mandatory long form version of the census. Harper and his cronies keep saying that they need "to protect Canadians from the coercive and intrusive methods that had been used" to collect census data and that the data can be collected either from other sources or in another manner. The fact of the matter is that no one has ever been jailed, the total number of complaints from the 2006 census numbers 168 (including the 2 made directly to the privacy commissioner - and remember that this form went to 12 million people), the new methodology is not statistically sound, and cannot be collected from any other sources. Every public policy organization, research group and think tank (save the Fraser Institute, insert eye roll here) has come out against the change, yet the conservatives refuse to relent. For no good reason except that Harper is too smug to admit when he was wrong. Were I pregnant (which I'm not ... trust me, not even close) and about to have boy, I would definitely name him Munir after Canada's Chief Statistician who stepped down rather than have uneducated political interference affect the quality of his work.

So this rant leads us to the reason for this post ... it would not be wrong to label me a liberal. In fact I might swing even further left. But just because I have liberal leaning tendencies, doesn't mean that I automatically vote Liberal. One time I even voted Conservative (although it was back when they had the Progressive as part of their name ... the dropping of that descriptor back in 2003 should have warned us all of their march to the right ...). I was not a huge Paul Martin fan, thought Dion was ahead of his time (I think that his Green Shift is a policy that will eventually be law ... too bad he was a horrible communicator and the dog named Kyoto was just too much), and I'm unsure how I feel about Ignatieff. They say he is too aloof, too intellectual, and doesn't drink enough Tim Horton's. I don't buy it. Harper has an MA ... sadly it hasn't hurt him. I guess Iggy's handlers thought he should come down from his ivory tower and mingle with the people. Sadly they decided this is how he should do it:




Could be worse ... he could have been dressed like this (sorry, it never gets old).

I'm a data geek and I'm enraged (and you should be too)

Allow me to interrupt these mindless musings to talk about something that is making me so unbelievably frustrated - the decision by the federal government to scrap the mandatory long form census. I cannot be nearly as articulate as some of my researching counterparts have been, see here and here and here but I really do have a bee in my bonnet if I can be so old fashioned about it.

The whole thing is about ideology trumping evidence. The government says they are doing away with the long form census because it is too invasive and they want to protect the privacy of Canadian citizens. They say that the government has no right to ask them how many bathrooms they have in their house. The thing is, the census doesn't ask them that. Also, in the past 2 census years (2001 and 2006) the privacy commissioner received exactly 3, yep 3, whole complaints from the general public. In fact after the last Census, when Stats Can did a public consultation about how to improve the census, not one person indicated that they should get rid of it. No one.

The census doesn't ask about bathrooms. It asks about ethnic origin. It asks about languages spoken. It asks about unpaid work in the home. It asks about transportation. These questions are vitally important for all levels of government when they provide services. The answers to the census questions allow government to decide where immigrant serving agencies, daycares, bus lines, roads, etc, should all be located. Now apparently Stephen Harper is just going to pull out his google map, put on his blindfold, spin around a few times, point his finger, and tell his trusty ministers where they should build things for whatever population lives there ... awesome.

team vienna

I didn't do a recap of last week's episode, so to quickly get it over with, Rated R you are an idiot. Don't you know that everyone in our country knows each other, and this of course extends to the small community of Canadians who have been involved with the Bachelor/Bachelorette series, so it's not all surprising that "Jessica" would reach out to "Jessie" and they would figure out how to get Chris Harrison's Icelandic cell phone number ... we women are just that resourceful. The only surprise really is that they somehow didn't manage to include that other Canuck Jillian in on the phone call, but I guess she was too busy moving out of Ed's house and back to Kelowna

Ok, on to this week. Really, the 1.5 hour show was just a pre-amble to the big event of the night - the Jake and Vienna split. More on that after the following concise points:

• Pedro (aka Roberto): Dancing in the street, really? And then pulling out the line "are we the only people dancing in the street ... I don't care." Again, really? Ali says he might be too good to be true, but I just say he is too much. Plus he has weird eyebrows.

• Frank: Dude lives with his parents. And probably manages an Old Navy. And he sweats a lot. And whines. And he wears a thumb ring (although this is not as bad as Ty's necklace ... bad man-jewelry is apparently an epidemic on this show). Yet she still wants to make out with him a tree. I just don't get it.

• Ty: According to a direct quote from last week "women can be the heads of major corporations." Thanks tips. Did you also know that women have had the right to vote since 1918?

• Kirk: Even though Ali was "off" the whole day, Kirk was still happy. My favourite quote: "look, horses" as their horse-drawn carriage arrived. And then later that night, when she pulled herself together he managed to be both a cornball and sincere all at the same time. He had a great answer to her ridiculous "how do I know I'll be good enough for you in 5 years?" (we get it, you're insecure. enough already). Unlike Pedro, he just sounds like he means it. I don't think he will make it past next week and this saddens me. He's just so great.

• Chris: As much as I like Kirk, I think I need to give it up to the landscaper. I love how ackward he is when talking about his feelings and then how nervous he was as he pulled the bracelet out of his pocket with the words "I wanted to make sure I liked you enough to give it to you." Cause really, it is so ridiculous when the men show up already in love (ahem Casey and Frank) ... this seemed much more genuine.

Ok, finally on to Jake and Vienna. I will start this off by saying that they are both complete idiots and famewhores. But, I can't believe I'm saying this, she came off smelling like roses where he just ended up behaving like a controlling douche. Dude, just because you can say the words undermine, emasculate and disrespect, doesn't mean that you own the high ground. Can you spell those words? I think not. His publicist should be fired, because he looked like a smug asshole who doesn't know how to use measuring tape.

what not to wear

Big news this week - Stephen Harper's stylist is no longer being paid for by taxpayers. I've often wondered why it looks like he is wearing lipstick and eyeliner, and now I know - his stylist is a former makeup artist. I don't much care who pays for Harper's fashion advice, as long as we can avoid a repeat of the vest incident.

dbag central

On Friday night I met the girls for an apres-work drink at what is supposed to be the new cool downtown bar. It was definitely not. For one, the hostesses have to wear horrible pink outfits. And secondly, it's in the mall. I mean really. But it apparently has a huge rooftop patio ... too bad spring has not arrived in Alberta so we couldn't test it out.

On two separate occasions, completely unprompted, two of the ladies labelled it "douche bag central." For no reason really, except that it was filled with well dressed, corporate Calgary types. When seen in packs of 2 or 3, these men really are quite attractive, but for some reason, when seen in bunches of 10-15, you begin to question their motives. And so the dbag comment. It got me thinking that it's so weird that all of the sudden this insult is back in everyday usage ... so of course I googled it and found out that it crossed over from hygienic medical term into a pejorative name in the 60s ... http://www.drbilllong.com/SpellersDiary/Interlude.html. Who knew?

And as a postscript, as we were leaving the bar, who should walk by, but the Gaz (HC's ex) on his way to meet SS's ex-husband. Dbag central indeed.