winter is coming ...

Actually, as I live in Calgary, winter has been here for awhile.  Seriously, the snow has been on the ground for a solid month.   Seeing as we never had an actual fall season, I won't dwell on that but let's discuss what I miss most about summer.  It will also give you an idea of what I've been doing since my last post, which I recognize was basically 4 months ago.  It's a short list - one thing for every month that I've been gone.  Here you go:

1. Topsiders:  I know this is a random one, but I love that they made a comeback this year.  I love preppy boys, so the summer uniform of long shorts, cardigans and topsiders made me very happy.  I do love a good peacoat and scarf combo too, so now that it's winter I can't complain too much, but I will miss the boat shoes that were all over town this summer.

2. Orcas: I went to a wedding this summer on beautiful Galiano island.  On Friday afternoon we went for a sail and came across a few pods of orcas.  While it was not quite this close, if you want to see how many there were and how awesome they are, check out this video from Outside Mag - it was in the same area and the same time. Oh and the wedding was fun too.  CG married her man Bill on a beautiful day overlooking the ocean.  We drank, we danced, we made wished on Thai lanterns and there was a risque photo shoot that is still being talked about.

3. Patios: It really goes without saying, but I had quite a few great afternoons on the various patios around town this summer.  A special shoutout to National, the Ship and Local 510.  Great places to drink beer and watch the world go by.

4. Bronze medals: I spent a lot of time watching the London Olympics.  Not a surprise really if you look back at some of my posts from February 2010 (here, here and here).  Canadians didn't do quite as well as expected and there were a lot of jokes about how many bronzes we won.  The bronze we lost in the men's 4X100 was particularly heartbreaking.  Listening to my father explain the rules of tae-kwon-do was particularly hilarious.  Watching the Brits cheer on that Mo guy to the 5,000 and 10,000 was awesome.  But most of all, watching the Canadian women lose so unfairly to the Americans in the soccer semi-finals and then squeak out a victory in the bronze medal game was amazing.  I played soccer all summer on an absolutely horrible team - we barely ever scored, but when we did, this is the face I was making.

on Paris and the surburbs

In my last post I mentioned AZ's new Chanel purse.  She bought it a few weeks ago at the original Chanel boutique - 31 Rue Cambon in Paris.  Beyond the beauty of the purse (which can be found here)  the story of how she ended up in Paris in the first place is a good one.  About 2 months ago, we had gone to Double Zero (sausauge and lentil pizza + 5$ happy hour wine = friday after work happiness) and then on to Craft  (Stiegl radler ... yum).  Whilst at Craft, we were approached by a guy, who, in a totally non-stalker way, indicated that he sees AZ everyday getting coffee and commented on how much he likes her shoes.  It was such an unthreatening pick up line that we assumed he was gay.  Turns out, not so much.  AZ had given him her number thinking he would be a new friend, who was a boy, while what he wanted was to be was her new boyfriend.  So they go out a few times, they hit it off, and as is the normal custom for a 4th date, they went to Paris.  Yep - Paris.  Oh and to Champagne for a few nights too.  Because, really.  Why not?

Anyhow, besides giving off an ever so slight non-hetero vibe, this new guy (let's call him "Scott") seems to be a great match for AZ.  They start spending a lot of time together - laughing, drinking, cooking dinner, talking fashion, and of course, all the other stuff.  But AZ sees a potential flaw.  He spends all of his time at her place and is evasive when she questions him on his.  And he's away on the weekends a lot.  The obvious conclusion of course is that he has a wife.  If you are confused, dear reader, I am too.  Because I don't see the jump that AZ made there, but to her it was logical at the time.  Did I mention that at the time we were on bottle number 5 of wine at a lovely bbq hosted by the always gracious SS?  "Scott" decided to spend an extra night out of town with his father and brother (on father's day I might add) and AZ decided this was shady.  She indicated in a text that they needed to have "the talk."

So how did this drama end you ask?  Well, turns out he doesn't have a wife (or a current wife at least - he is divorced.  And she lives in a different country).  The simple answer is that he lives in the suburbs. I don't know that I've mentioned my dating zone rule - it really is worth it's own post - but I have one and he falls well outside.  AZ lives 10 minutes from downtown, while his place is a solid 25.  Maybe even 30.  And so, mystery solved.

Are there any lessons to be taken from this?  I would think two.  1) Always say yes to Paris.  And 2) It's more convenient to have sleepovers in the inner city.

I'm a model, so ...

Everyone's pretty excited because the "ladies" are back.  And by "everyone" I mean the 6 of us who gather every week to watch The Bachelor.  So to start, there was obviously much debate about Ben's hair and whether or not we liked it.  Consensus was that we did not.  But we did not hate it as much as Christie hates sweetheart necklines ... direct quote on that one was "what's that neckline called?  I HATE it."  Note to self, never ask Christie to be a bridesmaid if the dresses have a sweetheart neckline.  I think we all got over his ridiculous hair with the non-stop shots of his winery.  If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's our love of wine.  So Ben wins us over with his occupation.  But his insistence on wearing a fluorescent pink tank and talking about seeing his father through hummingbirds brings him down more than a few notches.

As for the "ladies" we once again became focused on hair, wondering if we like the ombre look (we do) and whether or not yellow dress girl's hair should be longer (it should).  Then we moved on to the dresses.  Which, with very little exception, were horrible.  The green sateen and red plungey/strappy thingy were particularly awful - ABC obviously brought in some casting agents from Rock of Love this season.  We agreed that crazy blogger had one of the best outfits and the short sparkly one worn by someone else (an administrative assistant maybe?) was also good.  We figured that the (potentially) lesbian brunette wore such a demure dress to compensate for her "career" as a VIP cocktail waitress.  The model also looked good.  Her sense of superiority really complimented her black dress - the title of this post was her response when Ben asked her what she did for a living.

So that's about all we really had to say.  As you'll notice, we don't know any of their names yet.  That comes later as they go on dates, and swap traumatic stories about the journey they've been on to make it to this place when they feel they are finally ready to find love again.  If you don't understand that sentence, you obviously haven't been watching this show for long enough.

My final two predictions are horse lady and sparkly dress girl.

eat something ... please

So The Bachelor is on tonight and I just realized that I didn't post a recap from last week. That was due to a variety of issues, including but not limited to:

1) the fact that it was Valentine's Day and I was striking against all things involving romance;

2) HC forgetting to PVR the early episode meaning that we made our pizzas, packed them up and took them over to SS's place to cook, resulting in a lot of commotion and me forgetting to take note of everyone's witty comments; and

3) sheer laziness on my behalf.

So I don't have a full recap. Instead, below is an email train between myself and RB, which I believe captures the sentiment of the day after.

RB:

It's dinner time on the yacht! Britt is wearing an indefensible peach negligee thing.

Did you watch the bach last night?

Me:

I did. She had horrible platform flip flops too! Screw a lack of chemistry, she should have been sent home based solely on her horrible fashion choices and bad hair!

RB:

It was gross- and made me realize I need a b**b job STAT

Me:

Shut up.

You are nowhere near as skeletal as Britt, so that ridiculous outfit would not hang off you like it did her. Seriously, I was wishing for an interactive tv so that I could feed her the salted caramel chocolate I was eating in honour of VDay.

RB:

Yes, I watched her push her food around the plate and was willing her to EAT SOMETHING!

Me:

Any thoughts on final 2?

RB:

I like Shawntel ALOT

ME:

Yes me too.

RB:

Her and dentist I think?

Me:

Not a fan of the dentist … she seems very unhip. Bad mom hair and overplucked eyebrows. I also don’t really see their chemistry, but he seems to like her.

RB: I don’t mind her… she’s kind of the odd duck there- which is interesting

Who is your #2?

Me:

I think the other Chantal … despite her crazy.

RB:

mmm… shes way too over the top for me… too needy. Interestingly neither of us said “em”

btw I have watched a sum total of 3 episodes of this bach. He’s creepy.

Me:

I think he has Emily on a pedestal … won’t work.

He is very deliberate in his speaking patterns – no emotion ever. His voice doesn’t chance no matter what he says, it’s almost like someone (Chris Harrison perhaps) is feeding him lines.

That said, I think he’s the best looking Bachelor they’ve had on the show.

RB:

I loved Andrew Firestone

Rich said he should send the rest of the girls home after he saw him with Emily…said he acts like an idiot b/c he’s smitten

Me:

Sounds like you and Rich had a pretty romantic Valentine’s Day last night, watching the Bachelor …

RB:

After I inhaled peters drive in…yes…

Me:

Nothing says I love you like onion rings and a chocolate banana milkshake!

RB:

Wrong. Chocolate Strawberry.

Even hotter and sexier with 2 kids in back of car with milkshake dripping EVERYWHERE.

Me:

Ran into so and so last week. Is it mean of me to say that I don’t like her hair?

RB:

No, this would be mean

Ran into so and so last week. Is it mean of me to say that I don’t like her?

Me:

So to recap, you are mean and I am polite.

RB:

Correct.

it's always rainy in costa rica

My apologies for the delayed bachelor commentary. I blame the fact that it was not a great episode, except for the fact that ABC finally decided to divulge the ladies ages. That said, we didn’t really notice because we spent much of the episode trying to figure out if all of the girls have had boob jobs. We came to the conclusion that they all have except for Jackie and Britt and so they will be the next two to go. Jackie of course did leave. Britt will be gone soon enough. If they were kicked off judged on their outfits however, she would have been gone weeks ago. Seriously, she is the least fashionable lady on the show. And it's not like the other ladies are setting a high standard, so that's saying a lot.

My favourite part of the one-on-one date with Chantal was when she said that she and Brad know what it feels like to in a real relationship because whenever they’re together it rains. Not sure that I understand her logic on that one, but I’m sure it made sense in that pretty little head of hers. The best part of the group date involved someone who wasn’t actually on the date. Brad’s reaction to Alli’s screams from the hotel was awesome. The fact that she threw a full glass at Chantal was even better. Her bug freak out was hands down the best moment of the season so far. It was also probably the most honest one of the season. We also had a debate about what Michelle said about Brad when he took his shirt off. Go home and “fuck the shit out of him?” Or go home and “fuck yourself?” Either way, it was aggressive.

On the topic of Michelle, I agree that she is completely crazy, but at least she’s honest when she talks to the camera. We also think he really wants to sleep with her, and this is why he is keeping her around. Or perhaps he's just one of those guys who likes crazy girls ... AZ is looking for one of those guys, so if anyone knows one, let me know and I will pass along his information to her. Plus she had the worst hairstyle. Michelle is a hairdresser so she should know better. Those of you who know me know that I enjoy a bang braid as much as any other girl, but this braid took up half of her head

The rappelling date didn’t look that fun. In fact none of the dates looked that fun. Horseback riding through a field on what looked like mules and staring at random birds. And spalunking, really? I’m gonna call it and say going through that cave was the worst date of any season of The Bachelor, ever. As demeaning as I thought Shawntel’s shopping date was, this one was worse. Plus every date involved a helmet. While I agree dating can be dangerous, this is getting a bit ridiculous. I'm sure Costa Rica is a lovely place, but if I worked for Costa Rica Tourism I’d want my money back. The Bachelor is definitely not doing to Costa Rica what Oprah did for Australia.

I will say that when he dumped Alli he said as well as he could have said it. Mainly because I still believe he has someone feeding him lines ... that’s why he talks so slowly. Plus you can always tell when he goes off script. When he heard Alli’s screams, when Michelle showed up in his hotel room - he had a very good surprise face, you can tell he didn’t see it coming, unlike every other moment on the show that is filled with non-stop cliches: the “journey” they’re on, having their “walls” up, finding the “relationship” so hard, making a “connection,” blah, blah, blah.

So in general I guess you could say, that I was unimpressed with this episode. Not enough to keep me from watching the next one mind you. Because there is always a gem of a moment to keep you hooked. This week it was Chantal’s decision to wear another bad dress (not as bad as the mesh disaster from last week, but still bad) and to drop the early I love you. Bad dress + emotional train wreck = Bachelor awesomeness.

that was tender, but I still think she's boring

... that gem of a line comes from Christie, speaking about Brad's second one-on-one date with whatever her name was with the side bun and pretty necklace. Two other comments about that date: 1) His spit take reaction to her "I don't date much comment," was very out of place. His concerns about her being cautious were a bit much, non? Just because you're contractually obligated to be a man-whore Brad, doesn't mean this girl has to be a hussy. 2) Why do the "ladies" always thank Brad so much for the date? He does not come up with these dates. There is obviously a team of ridiculous people at ABC who sit around coming up with stupid idea after stupid idea. He is not spoiling you - ABC and Neil Lane are. And Train? Really? You can't even dance (fast or slow) to their music. This of course brought up a side conversation about musicians appearing on TV shows. Remember when bands used to play at the Peach Pit or the Bait Shop? They were kind of cool and on the up swing. The opposite is true when they make an appearance on the Bachelor. Definitely a sign of desperation or on their way out.

Sorry, back to the topic at hand. As for date number one with the dentist, none of us enjoyed her tutu (on a side note, anyone have thoughts about the revival of ballet and its influence on fashion?) as the drop waist and colour did not work, and a good 10 minutes was spent discussing what was wrong with her eyebrows - the consensus was that they were overplucked, too far apart, and so as a result might even be tattooed on. She had a good sob story about a distant, addictive father (although not sure it can compare to the dead NASCAR driver/orphan daughter story that Emily has), but we were distracted by her excessive hand talking and the background music that consisted of 3 notes over and over again. ABC must have blown its music budget on Seal's upcoming episode.

Once again, the girls try to get time with Brad and ask him stupid questions about his greatest fear. To which he answered, being alone. Really? That's your greatest fear? What about spiders? Or venomous snakes? Or flash floods? Why can't these people every have a normal conversation? Why does it always have to be about their "walls" or "layers?" Where are the discussions about politics, religion and sports?

At the cocktail party Brad stated that he was looking forward to a light-hearted, drama-free evening. Whoever wrote that script for him needs to be fired. He's been on the show before, we know he knows what's about to go down. The gig is up ABC. These girls are not best friends and Brad knows it! And so yes, Michelle has become the villain. Justly so, as she is definitely on the first train to crazytown. Melissa also deserved to go home. She was weird, lied about eating (4 pieces of pizza, really? it looked like she hadn't had a sandwich in weeks), and had a horrible Tori Spelling boob job. And yes, that is my second 90210 reference of the nights. But I will say that at 32 she was the oldest of the bunch. Brad is 38. Why couldn't they offer up some more age appropriate women? Does he really think he's going to find love with a 24 year old pharmaceutical rep? And do we really? No. Yet we continue to watch.

give the guy a break

I don't have much to say about the first episode of Brad Womack's return to the Bachelor, except that I did appreciate that change up from "most dramatic season ever" to "most controversial season ever," (although it's surprising ABC didn't call it "contractually obligated to pick someone this time around"). While watching, the girls and I concurred that the dresses were worse than ever, all the "ladies" seemed to use the same curling iron, and why were there no ages along with their "career descriptions." If you go by the number of times she said like, the girl who got the first impression rose is definitely a teenager.

The whole "I've been in therapy and I'm a new man" theme was all a bit too much. I appreciate that they are trying to show that he has changed, but why did he need to? Dude had every right to not pick either Jenny or DeAnna if he wasn't feeling it - it's called free will. It's not like all the other relationships on the show have worked out ... people break up. Just not in ABC's world I guess. And why is DeAnna so bitter? Last time I checked she's engaged to a guy she met thanks to being dumped by Brad. And it feels like she's been on every season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette over the last 3 years. Get over yourself.

And finally, I can't believe it took them this long to get Seal to agree to use "Kiss From A Rose." Heidi must be a fan ...

shopping fail

So on Sunday I ventured out to do some Christmas shopping. Instead of getting what I needed to (i.e. gifts for other people) I bought myself these ski boots. They are rad. They have this mechanism that allows them to inflate and deflate. Kind of like those old school Reebok pumps. Not sure if the "air shell" technology is just a gimmick or not, but they have to be better than my old Head boots that crush my feet and have resulted in permanent trauma to my nailbeds (thanks to CG for the medical diagnosis).

And then I went to Holts and bought this dress (incidentally it looks just as good on me as it does on the model). Unfortunately they can't be worn together.

So I have evening wear and weekend wear, but still no Christmas presents. Awesome.

some boots and some books

So I made it through the weekend with my mom. I have some new boots (pictured at right) and a new winter coat to show for it. And I think I only snapped at her once. And we had some good talks. And some good food. And some good wine. So all in all, a good visit.

I also lent her a book, which brings me to my latest reading list. I've been on a non-fiction/memoir kick of late. Here is what I have been reading:

• Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man by Bill Clegg. The author is a literary agent who has a seemingly great life, but is addicted to crack. The majority of the book chronicles his paranoia as he met with dealers, got high, had sex with random men, moved from hotel to hotel and thought he was going to be arrested. The paranoia part was interesting. The reviews talk about how it's a great account of "one man's descent into the hell of addiction." And while it certainly is hellish, I still don't know that I understand how someone can get there and live there and think that it's a better way to live than clean. I suppose they're so messed up they can't really make that distinction. So a hellish life, certainly. But how he got there, I still didn't get it after reading the book.
• Open by Andre Agassi. This is the book I lent my mom. She took it back to Ottawa to lend to my dad, because I think he'll really like it too. This was a good book. Fascinating really. I always wonder with memoirs how revisionist they are - did he really have second thoughts about proposing to Brooke Shields as he was proposing to her, or is it just easier to remember it that way 6 years later. At any rate, how he became the famous athlete we all know is a great story. It's one of those books that you look forward to getting back to reading after you put it down.
• I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max. HC read this book while she was in Palm Springs and kept BBMing me little tidbits. She told me that all women should read it so we know what assholes men are. The book is made up of anecdotal stories about Tucker Max and his friends out partying, drinking to excess, sleeping with random women and insulting said women and others. I think a lot of people would find it offensive and shocking. I can't say I really did. A lot of the stories were quite humorous, which I think was the intention of the book. And while Max speaks abhorrently of women, a lot of the women seem to act equally ridiculous, so whatever. I didn't finish it though, mainly because I got bored of all the poop stories. I don't really enjoy reading about disgusting bowel movements. I will say however, that I really do hope that they serve beer in hell, because I'm pretty sure there will be a reserved seat at that bar for me.
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I haven't been at my best lately and so thought I would take a shot at reading a quasi self-help book. I started reading it a few months ago and am only on page 91. There goes my attempt at self-improvement. The book jacket describes it as a woman's 12 month adventure "test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier." The problem is that she starts it in January and frames "becoming happy" like a New Year's resolution. As such is just become a check list of things to do. Reading it just made me feel bad about myself because my closets aren't organized and I'm not very efficient on weekends. Thanks tips, I don't need a book to tell me that. And now it's being turned into a TV show, starring Charlotte from Sex and the City. I'm pretty sure I won't waste PVR space on it.
• Too Big to Fail by Andrew Ross Sorkin. The subtitle is "the inside story of how Wall Street and Washington fought to save the financial system - and themselves." I think this is a book I'll be reading for awhile. It's 500+ pages on the financial crisis. Lots of concepts that I don't fully understand, but I'm trying. When you read about people taking helicopters to work and thinking that a $30 million a year pay cheque being fully explainable (really?) you can begin to understand why middle America is so upset. And why they hate the bailout. And why they hate Obama. And how it came to be that there was an legitimate campaign ad centred around one of the candidates, who for some reason had a shot at actually becoming a US Senator, declaring that she was not a witch. Okay that last bit might be a bit of a stretch, but it is all connected. And the the book is interesting. Not riveting though. But then again, I'm not sure any book on the financial system would be.

So that's me. And those are my mini reviews. Oh and tomorrow's high is -33 with the windchill. Awesome.

empire state of mind

In my drunken state on Saturday night, I turned into a thief. While at the Drake we ran into some acquaintances ... one of them decided to have a post-bar party and so we went back to her place. After all the wine and vodka, this seemed like a good idea. I'm pretty sure it wasn't. It was a very weird turn of events, involving a member of the 1996 Canadian Olympic team, a Native American statue and a Bee Gees dance party. As we were leaving (at 3:45 am), I thought that it would be a good idea to steal this random guy's NY Yankees* hat. It had been decided earlier that this guy was something of a dbag, and so I guess I figured he deserved to have his hat stolen. I will say that the next morning I woke up full of remorse and feeling bad that I stole dude's hat. Had someone stolen mine, even if they were drunk, I would be unimpressed. Turns out he was unimpressed. He got in touch with SS (through a mutual friend) and sent her a very kind email suggesting a drink in exchange for said hat. The exchange is supposed to happen today. What we still haven't figured out is if I will owe her, for making her spend time with this guy, as the jury is still out on whether or not he really is a dbag. Or, on the other hand, perhaps she will owe me, as he could very well turn out to be a good guy and they will fall in love and end up naming their first child after me (with the middle name Yankee of course). I don't know about you, but I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what will happen.

*cue Jay-Z: "I made a Yankees hat more famous than a Yankee can."

it's the little things pt. 2

This is my friend Lily. She is wearing my fedora. She is super cool. Sadly she is not my dog. But we've had some good times together. Right now we are driving from Calgary to an unnamed island on the coast. Summer is coming to an end and this makes me sad. And so I look at this picture of Lily and I smile. It really is the little things.

majordomos for everyone!

On Friday night I watched the documentary Valentino: The Last Emperor. Great. Beautiful clothes (duh). Everything is sewn by hand. It really is something to see. The amount of time, effort and money spent on creating beauty - it's astonishing. Plus he has quite the personality. And he has quite the life. That is his house outside of Paris. It's a 16th century Chateau. Not bad. And he has a majordomo. I want a majordomo. I've often said that I need a nanny, even though I have no children, but now I realize what I really need is a majordomo. It sounds much more sophisticated. And I am nothing if not a sophisticate. According to wikipedia, a majordomo is a person who speaks, makes arrangements, or takes charge for another. Apparently they went out of style with the end of feudalism, but I guess no one told Valentino.

Pedro's got my vote*

Some quick thoughts on Monday's bachelorette episode ...

• For some reason, I keep wanting to call Roberto Pedro. Makes no sense, but there it is. And so he shall be named.


• Steve looks too much like his namesake Steve Guttenberg and so he was just a blip on the show ... much like the original Guttenberg was just a blip on the Hollywood scene.**


• Continuing on with the 80s Hollywood stars look alike theme, the Weatherman totally reminds me of an awkward early Tom Cruise. This is not a good association. In the words of my wise friend RB "I could not dislike the Weatherman more."


• I miss Steven Page - his harmonies were the only thing that made the BNL interesting.


• I am all over Chris L's tattoo and the meaning. His mouse hunting is awesome too. I want to go to there.


• I would definitely roll around in bed with Kirk anytime, anywhere. I also enjoyed the requisite hot tube kiss. Love that he was the first one. In the wise words of Jillian Harris - she popped his hot tub cherry.
  
• Hunter + Ali's date = snooze ville ... I actually fast forwarded most of it.
  
• Did anyone else notice that back at the house Craig was drinking straight from a full bottle of wine? I think he would be a fun drunk and I recommend that ABC show more of that.
  
• I don't have much to say about Rated R's trip to Ali's "house," but I do concede that it was a dick move to lie about it and make pointed comments about it.


• There were two ridiculous outfits at the rose ceremony. Once again Ali had crap-tastic style. That dress would have been way cuter had it been short. And Jesse, with the jean-on-jean? Round here that is known as an Alberta Tuxedo and it is definitely not a compliment.

Once again I had to watch this episode all by myself ... it is way more fun to watch it with the girls and I hope next week we can all watch it together! The comments will be way funnier then. I promise.

*sort of - dude says all the right things and she's obviously into him, but I think I like Chris L more ... and maybe Kirk too?

**In doing my in-depth research for this post I just learned that it was recently announced that there is to be another sequel to Three Men and A Baby ... According to this article, it is highly anticipated. That might be an overstatement. Tentative title = Three Men and A Bride. Insert your groan here.

shooter, we hardly knew 'ya

After the Jake Pavelka debacle, I swore off the Bachelor series ... but then it showed up again and I realized that I didn't swear off of it, so much as the show went off the air and I couldn't wait for it to start again. Plus I realized that like the Bachelorette version way better. The men are just more fun - not as ridiculous (usually) and much nicer to look at (Reid and Kyptin, I'm talking to you!). So here are my initial thoughts (aka catty judgments) on the premiere episode:

First off, Ali needs a new stylist. She should definitely cut her hair - it is way too brassy and thin to be that long. She looks way better when her hair is up, so I decree that she get a bob. Next she should avoid ball gowns/prom dresses/bridesmaid outfits at all costs - the dress she was wearing as she greeted the limos was horrible. It looked like she was wearing a purse on her ass. The outfits she wore in her introduction video when she discussed how she was there for the right reasons, choosing love over work, looking plaintively into the sunset, blah, blah, blah, were much better.

As for the men:
- Frank was a bit crazy, all bug-eyed and jumping out of the limp. He said that he had quit his job as a highpowered M&A guy to be a screenwriter, but underneath his name it said he was a "retail manager." I took this to mean that he works as a shift supervisor at Moore's Menswear.
- Craig gave all Canadians a bad name with his ridiculous hair and pompous attitude. That said, I liked his tie. While I'm surprised Ali kept him, I'm thinking perhaps he is an ABC plant is being kept to bring the drama. I also didn't understand why they used the Toronto skyline when dude is from Sarnia ... I guess smokestacks and tract housing don't make for quality tv?
- Kasey has got to go ... buddy is way too over-eager. He kept on saying how he wanted to guard her heard - what does that even mean? It's protected by her rib cage, she doesn't need a kid named Kasey. The 3 of us watching also decided that he might have been deaf at some point as he had a bit of a weird speech thing going on ... or maybe it's just that he talks way too quickly?
- Jesse - the guy from Peculiar, Montana. His intro speech was lame, but he was rocking the 3-piece suit, which I love, so he can stay.
- Kirk - he's kind of like the male version of Tenley. But instead of dancing, he scrapbooks.
- Hunter played the ukulele, an instrument to which I take no exception. His song was pretty good too, althought it would have been better if he had somehow been able to incorporate Wes's "they say love don't come eaaaaaassssssyyyyyy ..." lyrics
- Roberto's dimples definitely give him an advantage - I pick him for final 2
- Chris L is my other pick. Black labs, beach-side property, sob story about his mother. I'm all over it.
- It was really too bad that Shooter led with the premature ejaculation story, because he was pretty cute.
- There were a few others whose names escape me, but am I ever glad she got rid of the lawyer in the powder blue suit with the bad hair because he was just awful. The guy from Vancouver was cute too, but he had some weird hair gel malfunction which made it look like had bangs. Not sure how I feel about Rated-R - not a fan of the soul patch, but I do feel that he didn't get a fair shake from the other guys. How can you not like a fake wrestler with a heart of gold, who speaks a mysterious slavic language with his grandmother?

I am sure I will thoroughly enjoy this season, especially when Ali gets a new stylist. I volunteer my services.

what not to wear

Big news this week - Stephen Harper's stylist is no longer being paid for by taxpayers. I've often wondered why it looks like he is wearing lipstick and eyeliner, and now I know - his stylist is a former makeup artist. I don't much care who pays for Harper's fashion advice, as long as we can avoid a repeat of the vest incident.