majordomos for everyone!

On Friday night I watched the documentary Valentino: The Last Emperor. Great. Beautiful clothes (duh). Everything is sewn by hand. It really is something to see. The amount of time, effort and money spent on creating beauty - it's astonishing. Plus he has quite the personality. And he has quite the life. That is his house outside of Paris. It's a 16th century Chateau. Not bad. And he has a majordomo. I want a majordomo. I've often said that I need a nanny, even though I have no children, but now I realize what I really need is a majordomo. It sounds much more sophisticated. And I am nothing if not a sophisticate. According to wikipedia, a majordomo is a person who speaks, makes arrangements, or takes charge for another. Apparently they went out of style with the end of feudalism, but I guess no one told Valentino.

technical problems

I've been out of sorts all day ... it took me awhile to figure out why, but I think it is due to a variety of technical issues I am experiencing.

First off, my Blackberry is broken. More importantly, my BB messenger is not working. This is a serious problem as I do believe that BBM is one of the best inventions ever and it irks me that I can't send instant messages to my friends. Never mind that I could just phone them or email, but that just seems so intentional and formal. BBMing random comments is much more fun. I would also like to add that when I approached my work IT guy to discuss the fact that my BB isnt't working, he informed me that because it is not actually physically broken, he can't give me a new one. He then told me, in what I think was complete seriousness, to step on it or drop it in the toilet, and then come back and see him.

Secondly, my PVR didn't record Jersey Shore last night. I know that I can watch it on one of the dozen repeats between now and next Thursday, but I was looking forward to watching it after work today. I also fully realize that I should be embarrased to watch this ridiculous show where ridiculous people are getting paid ridiculous sums of money to do nothing but drink, speak incoherently, and pump their fists. It's also part of the current pop cultural zeitgest, and in the same way that I can sing the lyrics to a Justin Beiber song (the shame!), I also know about J-Wow, Snooki and the Situation.

Finally, I bought a new MacBook earlier this summer and have yet to transfer over my itunes music catalogue to my new laptop. As a result I have been listening to the same playlists all summer long, and while they are good, the repetition is starting to get to me. It is definitely time for me to remedy this situation (no capital S needed). Then of course the question becomes, do I download a song from the Beebs?

my younger self

On my recent trip to "home" (where my parents live), I found a couple of diaries, hidden in plain sight in my bedside table. Am guessing my mom has probably read them, which is pretty embarrassing because the diaries themselves are somewhat mortifying. Running intermittently from September 1997 to December 1999, they are an account of my inner most thoughts as well as the events and travels that happened when I lived in France in 97-98, back in Halifax for my last year of university in 98-99 and then back to France for a year of teaching in 99-2000. I was a young 21 year old ... I was always thought I was quite mature for my age, but looking back, not so much. Naivete is a good word to describe my mindset. Although it's interesting because the majority of the entries happen as I'm taken far out of my comfort zone, living on a different continent, speaking a different language and meeting people from all over the world, so I probably shouldn't be too hard on myself. A few gems are below, as well as what they mean to me now are below (there is also plenty of introspection, but I think I'll keep those entries to myself for now):

• October 11, 1997: "Last night we had so much fun ... our wine only cost $4. Then we went to Bugsy's and everybody was there. We got a beer and hung out but we decided we wanted to dance - so we went to Honky Tonk's to bust a move." Um, everybody? I have no idea who would be considered everybody. Nor would my 34-year old self drink $4 wine. And what kind of town has bars called Bugsy and Honky Tonk? Although I do still use the term "bust a move."

• November 11, 1997, discussing a boy I had a crush on: "I broke off our relationship, not that we really had one, but after the events of the weekend, my crush has faded, although I still like flirting with him - he is a great friend even though he's a slut." A little harsh perhaps? Also, I love that I broke up with him even though we weren't dating. The funny thing is that we are still friends. I wonder if I should tell him how mean I was.

• November 23, 1997: "Last weekend we hopped on a train and went to Barcelona. Wow - it was so much fun. I couldn't believe how many people were out on just a random Saturday night - 8PM looked like Ottawa on Canada Day or general admission at a U2 concert. Shopping was like the last hour on Christmas Eve - absolute chaos. But I got some new boots and a sweater." I'm guessing we also saw all the Gaudi architecture and went to a few museums, but I obviously wasn't that interested. And I still own those boots.

• December 21, 1997: "We went to Paris and KM peed on the eiffel tower." I laughed out loud reading this entry. In her defence, she has a very weak bladder and I was probably taunting her.

• January 23, 1998: "Wow, it is so beautiful out right now. I am sitting on a park bench - it is 4:30 in the afternoon, in the middle of winter, I am wearing only a sweater (well, pants too), the sun is shining, there are people and dogs frolicking in front of me, I'm listening to that cool Bjork song and wishing I were in a movie." Cool Bjork song could be any of her songs really, I'm gonna go with "It's Oh So Quiet."

It goes on and on, but is really only funny to me. So let's just leave it there and ponder the all important question: what the hell ever happened to Bjork?

things that are cheaper than the chair

Add this to the list of things that makes me happy - Mark Ruffalo. After my depressing trip to Crate & Barrel yesterday, CG and I went to see The Kids Are Alright. Great movie. It's been universally praised by critics, so I don't have much to add, but needless to say it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think, the acting was fabulous, it had a great soundtrack and it made me lust for Mark Ruffalo. Both his character and him as a person, because, not only is he easy to look at, I feel like is just a cool guy. Not sure if this is true or not, but according to Lainey he is great. So I'll just go with that. Plus it only cost 12 bucks! Much more reasonable than a $1400 chair. Oh and we went to Farm for dinner first. Dinner (including wine) for 3 was $156. Also much cheaper than the chair. Cheese also makes me very happy. And then, we got pre-sale seats to Arcade Fire at the end of September. At $58, also cheaper than the chair. All told, these 3 things add up to only 8.7% of the cost of the chair. And they brought me much satisfaction. So all in all, a successful 24 hours.

to help me host

So it's been over a month since my fortune cookie told me I was going to get lucky. It was wrong. I have nothing to report. I did however find this awesome chair at Crate and Barrel. I feel like it will make me happy, and help me be a better hostess (in a totally non-sexual way ... it would just fit into the decor of my condo and my guests would have a more comfortable place to sit than the current chair that barely gets used). Sadly, it is priced at $1,399. This does not make me happy. It's too much for a chair, right?

another lake, another list

Continuing on with the lake and lists theme, last week I spent most of my time sitting on the dock at the family cottage, reading. 7 days, 4.5 books. Herewith are my thoughts on said books:

1. One Day by Alex Nicholls. One of the reviews on the cover was from Nick Hornby's blog, stating that it is a perfect beach read for people who don't do beach reads. Awesome, because this is me. Great book. Immensely readable as they say. It tells the story of a close friendship between a guy (Dexter) and girl (Emma) who meet on the last day of university in 1988 and it revisits them every July 15th for 20 odd years. It was smart, funny, timely, sad, etc ... everything you want in good fiction. Great characters, although I do think that the way Emma pines after the bad boy shows that she was written by a man and Dexter's feelings for her a bit too predictable. Still loved the book though. This story about it made me laugh, as I did read it in humid weather and now the cover is permanently curled up. Also, it's being made into a movie - starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess.


2. Plague of Secrets by John Lescroart. Paperback mysteries are a guilty pleasure of mine. I have always read them ... especially ones with recurring characters. They are great for a rainy afternoon, a day on the dock or an airplane ride. I figure the fact that I read actual literature makes these flimsy paperbacks acceptable. My go-too authors are people like Michael Connelly, Deborah Crombie, Elizabeth George, etc. This one was pretty good ... I particularly like Lescroart's website which promises "real people ... real suspense."


3. Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. Subtitled "Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime," this book was fascinating. It is a pretty serious book - 400+ pages on politics, but I raced through it like it was an US Weekly. Which I guess is not that surprising, seeing as it has been criticized for veering into gossip (incidentally this review is from Michiko Kakutani, the real life person who reviewed the fictional Carrie Bradshaw's first book on Sex and the City). There are no footnotes, as the book is based on over 300 interviews and rather than naming their contacts, the authors fall back on "deep sources." As a quasi-historian, I appreciate sourcing material when necessary, but this book reads like fiction, and I think footnotes would have gotten in the way. It was a great read. Also makes me wonder if anyone would ever bother writing a book this interesting about Canadian politics. In the era of Harper, I'm thinking not.


4. Family Album by Penelope Lively. I'd never read anything by Lively, but she has written 16 books, including a Booker prize winner (Moon Tiger, which I will now go out and buy). This book was also quite good ... the story of a family of 6 children, as told at various times by various people in the family, not at all linear, slightly chaotic, kind of like the family. At one point it seems like the family secret is going to be much worse than it actually is - the false suspense is kind of a cheap trick, but that is the book's only flaw really. She's a lovely writer and I recommend it for sure.
5. The End of Energy Obesity by Peter Tertzakian. I'm reading this book for both work and because I have a personal interest in how to create a more sustainable energy framework. I haven't finished this book yet ... I would read 2 chapters after completing every other book I read during my holiday. It's a pretty interesting read - the whole point of the book is to figure out how societies can continue to maintain their quality of life while at the same time reducing their dependence on traditional fossil fuels. I've heard Tertzakian speak at a few events and I think he is a very smart man, not to mention a great speaker. The book is not overly academic or dry ... instead it's full of metaphors and examples that apply to everyday life. Makes it much easier to "get." Here's a cool video that summarizes the book.

on lists

I realized that this blog was named after a list, but since then I have not really provided any additional lists. Today is the day I remedy that situation. Last weekend I went to Lake Windermere (pictured at right ... this is the actual sunset on Saturday night) with a group of people - some of whom I had met, some of whom I didn't know - and it was quite the interesting little getaway. Herewith is my top 5 list of memorable moments from the weekend (in no particular order):

1. walking into the cabin after having spent Saturday afternoon at the beach to find our living room had been invaded by 4 random girls in full makeup and onesies drinking our sangria. no explanation as to who they were or where they had come from. the boys tried to tell us they were 29. we disagreed. they were 23. tops.


2. playing pictionary and hearing Braeden guess "it's the bug that blends into the tree. goddamn it, what is it called?" the answer of course was praying mantis.


3. HC distinguishing between two songs both named "crazy" - one by Britney Spears, the other sung by Patsy Cline.


4. when the boys played this song for the millionth time, I realized that it's the perfect step aerobics song ... luckily HC used to be an aerobics instructor, so she was able to guide my routine perfectly! grapevine, repeater knees, and around the world were performed to perfection.


5. girls sangria = 3 bottles of red wine, 12 ounces of cointreau, the juice from 4 oranges, 1 cup of orange juice, 3 sliced oranges, 3 sliced lemons, 2 sliced limes, frozen strawberries as ice cubes, and ginger ale as mix. boys sangria = 12 cans of beer, a bottle 1.1L bottle of absolut vodka, 1 can of pink lemonade concentrate mix, garnished with lemons and blueberries. surprisingly, they were both really good.

I love you, now please go away

So Ali picked Roberto. Boring and Boringer belong together. I hope her hair extensions and his eyebrows are happy for a long long time. I will say that I think it was very classy the way she said goodbye to Chris, saving him from going through the rigamarole of picking a ring, talking into the camera about his hopes and dreams, and getting down on one knee. For that I can almost forgive her super annoying, never ending, giggle. I'm glad he can now go back to his beautiful Cape Cod house, hang out with his dog Jetty (not Jenny ... I looked it up), and drink with his brothers and their wives. And so here is my impassioned plea ...

Dear Chris,*

I really want you to be happy, and I don't think going on a reality show is the way to do it. Please, please, please don't become the next bachelor. You are a great guy and don't deserve the crazies that ABC will inevitably choose to become your potential bride. Everyone loves you right now, so don't ruin that goodwill by signing up for another 15 minutes of fame. No one wants to see you on the cover of US Weekly with some whore proclaiming "your love." Go home. Plant some trees. Play with your dog. Go for a walk on the beach. Throw a frisbee if you must. Find a new hobby. Like skiing for example. Have you ever been to the Canadian Rockies? The snow here is great and it's sunny all the time! I used to teach skiing and I could definitely help you conquer the black diamonds. And then, after we frolic in the snow, you feel like giving me a real diamond, I would not be opposed. If things go sideways (although how that could every happen, I have no idea), I promise not to sell our story to Star Magazine. I will however blog about it (but don't worry, as only 3 people read this blog, no one will really know). So if you're ok with that one condition, we're golden!

That's all I have to say for now. Please keep in mind my advice. I am very wise. And I think your dad would really like me.

All my love,

K

P.S. I promise if we are dating, I won't date anyone else at the same time. Even if he is as cute as Kirk.

* This may or may not be a real letter. The address for his family's landscape company is readily available.