a list for the 100th Stampede

Sheriff Buddha

Ok, so Stampede is almost officially over.  I say almost, because it's currently 5:32 am MST on Sunday July 15th and technically Stampede doesn't end until after the fireworks tonight at 11 PM MST.  Why am I awake at 5:32 on this summer sunday morning you ask?  It's not because I'm an early riser - it's because I have not yet slept after a night out.  That's right, the sun is coming up, it's not Vegas and I'm still awake.  I made the mistake of having 2 "shafts" which is some kind of concoction at the Living Room that involves espresso.  Did I mention that it was my birthday last night?  I'm now 36 - the crisis that this event is bringing about will have to be explored in another post.  Instead, I will just make a list of all the things that happened during this, the 100th anniversary of the Calgary Stampede:

• We crashed one party.
• I ripped 2 pairs of jeans.
• I went out 7 of 11 nights.
• AZ found out that "Scott" is not actually divorced (he is separated, but she lives here, not in another country as he previously stated).  Oh and he has a child that he passed off as his nephew.  It's a long involved story, but needless to say that relationship is over.  And now the Chanel bag has new meaning - trust your gut.  When you think someone might have a wife, they just might.
• We got kicked out of our infield rodeo seats - we were squatters, but still, it was embarassing.
• I didn't eat any beef on a bun (this is a rare feat, let me tell you).
• I spotted 2 CBC personalities (Strombo and Brett Wilson).
• I relived my high school days watching the Tragically Hip at a massive outdoor concert.
• Apparently this scene from last year happened again - I wasn't there so didn't witness it, but SS won stampede again this year as there may have been another YHG hookup. 
• While "Cory" didn't puke on the street, he did turn on his sprinkler when he got home from the bar and had a quick 45 minute nap on the front porch while he drowned his lawn.
• We went to Nashville North and partied with people who could legitimately have been our children.
• I didn't wear plaid once (another rare feat).
• On one of the nights that I didn't go out my soccer team actually scored a goal.  We still lost the game.  Badly.
• We have been forever spoiled by the fact that courtesy cars exist for Stampede sponsors and that they are often driven by age appropriate successful men who ask you if the air conditioning is comfortable.  I may never take public transit again.
• I had really good cab karma.
• HC and her boyfriend J broke up.  This had nothing to do with Stampede and more to do with the fact that she's moving to Toronto. Like next week.  My go-to plus one and emergency contact is leaving.  It's kind of a big deal.  But far too emotionally impactful to get into at 5:30 am on a serious lack of sleep.
• Wearing a sheriff's badge is a great conversation starter.  Too bad it's only really acceptable to do during Stampede.  So 'til next year my official badge will just stay with Buddha here on my bookshelf, as pictured above.

So that's it - I think that's all the happened.  At least that's all that I remember.  Another year done.  My liver worked hard and I survived.  Thanks Stampede.

Spansede!

Stampede, also known as "Christmas in July," is upon us. Down on the grounds, there is the rodeo, the chuckwagons, actual cowboys, the agricultural building, the super dogs, the midway, random concerts and of course the various foods on sticks. Away from the grounds, there is general debauchery. The title of this post refers to a text message/booty call a certain friend received last year - we're pretty sure he meant to say "stampede" but his thumbs were obviously impaired by copious amounts of alcohol. This time of year is known for random hookups ... some might form into everlasting love, others stretch out for a few months, eventually losing their lustre as the days get shorter and the weather cools down (or the guy turns out to have a recreational cocaine problem, but that's another story). But most really only last one night.

And so we arrive at the very important question we have been pondering of late - what is the true definition of a one night stand? It seems like it would be a simple answer, but really it's not. Is it a one night stand because it lasted only one night? But what if you stay "friends?" Is it a one night stand if you don't remember their name and never see them again? But what if you have known them for a long time, will inevitably see them again, but it still only lasts one night, because of a variety of exigent circumstances? Or is a one night stand really defined by intent? As in, you intend to see them again, but he is a douche, and so you don't, so that means it's not a one night stand. But if you go into it intending it to only happen once and it only happens once, is that a one-night stand. Regardless of whether or not you know their name? This is what we have landed on. Just like possession is nine-tenths of the law, intention is nine-tenths of a one night stand. The other tenth of course is alcohol. Or maybe it's the other way around?

That said, this time of year is dangerous. All bets are off during Stampede ... men in cowboy hats inevitably look hot and good intentions are as good as gone. Happy Spansede everyone!