swedish vs swedish

So today at work someone brought in a costco-size bag of Swedish berries. I ate quite a few. Maybe even half the bag. It got me contemplating the age old question ... which do I prefer, Swedish berries or Swedish men? Looking at the evidence, I'm not entirely sure.

exhibit a: tasty treat (aka candy)


exhibit b: tasty treat (aka Alexander Skarsgard)



I will definitely have to think on this one.

thank god for mr. dangerous ...

'cause really, if Craig M hadn't been such an enormous a-hole, what would there have been to talk about back at the house? And while the guy is a definite jerk, I think he was totally legit in calling out The Weatherman's white jacket ... it was bad. Really bad.

So it seems Ali took my advice, because her outfits were much improved on episode 2 ... she seemd much more natural in her tank top and converse, and she took a page from Jillian's playbook and went with a cute cocktail dress for the rose ceremony. Even the long Vegas dress was more acceptable. Although I was slightly distracted by Jesse - dude can rock a suit, not to mention a swimsuit. I think she's keeping him around solely for his looks. Not that I'm complaining.

As for the date with Frank to the Hollywood sign, am very curious about the car breakdown. Could Frank not have at least attempted to show his manhood by popping the hood and pretending to try to fix it? Who went to the highway to retrieve it? Please tell me it was Chris Harrison. And why is Frank so relunctant to tell us what sort of store he manages? I would also like to point out that Ali totally lied when she said that no one gets to go to the Hollywood sign. She obviously doesn't remember the graduation scene in the original 90210 when the crazy kids from West Bev managed to reconfigure the sign for their senior prank, as evidenced here (the reveal is at 5:04):




As for the beach date, I gotta say that I am embarrassed for the female species that once again, a bachelorette fell for the guitar move. Enough with the guitar, it's really not that sexy. I also still don't know who half the guys are. The guy that was helping The Weatherman into his speedo was pretty ripped. I think his name was Steve? There was a guy with a green shirt later that night ... no idea of his name, but he got a rose, not sure why. And poor Vancouver guy - not only did they not show his one-on-one time during the group date, he didn't even get an exit interview after getting the boot. Poor form.

I still think Chris L needs to mention his dead mother and move back to Cape Cod - Ali has a really good sad/pout face that I'm sure ABC would love to show more of. And while I've always known that the bachelorette doesn't pick who she goes on dates with, this episode certainly proved it. Had she had her choice, she would definitely have picked Roberto for a solo date, because whenever she's around him, she effectively goes mute. Like the salsa last episode, the baseball was a nice touch. He's a catch for sure (get it?). I also like Kirk - he's cute, but I need more information beyond just the shot of his abs. Not that I'm complaining.

My one suggestion for next episode is that they don't show anymore of The Weatherman - while Ali appreciated that he had her back, he's not that entertaining and is taking up way too much screen time. Plus he seemed to be drinking vodka crans. Not feeling it. ABC would be advised to show less of him and spend more time showing us the men relaxing by the pool at home; sans shirts s'il-vous-plait.

all aboard

There has been much debate about high speed rail in Alberta ... there are multiple reasons why a fast train linking Calgary and Edmonton would be awesome:

1. the avoidance of gasoline alley in Red Deer;
2. going there and back in 3 hours instead of 6 makes a work-related day trip that much more palatable;
3. it's much easier to bb message while sitting on a train seat than it is while driving 130kms an hour with mack trucks speeding by;
4. the whole reduction of CO2 emissions thing;
5. going to see shows that can't play in the Saddledome because of the stupid roof (i.e. Justin Timberlake) would be that much easier; and finally,
6. I love my Edmonton peeps and it would be fun to see them more often.

I'm sure there are other reasons (i.e. integrating the economy, ease of doing business, cool looking trains, etc, etc), but I recently discovered a new, much more important one while travelling from Montreal to Ottawa on the train this past Sunday: there are hot men on trains. Seriously, there were 3 very attractive, age appropriate men in my train car ... gives a whole new meaning to "riding the rails."

shooter, we hardly knew 'ya

After the Jake Pavelka debacle, I swore off the Bachelor series ... but then it showed up again and I realized that I didn't swear off of it, so much as the show went off the air and I couldn't wait for it to start again. Plus I realized that like the Bachelorette version way better. The men are just more fun - not as ridiculous (usually) and much nicer to look at (Reid and Kyptin, I'm talking to you!). So here are my initial thoughts (aka catty judgments) on the premiere episode:

First off, Ali needs a new stylist. She should definitely cut her hair - it is way too brassy and thin to be that long. She looks way better when her hair is up, so I decree that she get a bob. Next she should avoid ball gowns/prom dresses/bridesmaid outfits at all costs - the dress she was wearing as she greeted the limos was horrible. It looked like she was wearing a purse on her ass. The outfits she wore in her introduction video when she discussed how she was there for the right reasons, choosing love over work, looking plaintively into the sunset, blah, blah, blah, were much better.

As for the men:
- Frank was a bit crazy, all bug-eyed and jumping out of the limp. He said that he had quit his job as a highpowered M&A guy to be a screenwriter, but underneath his name it said he was a "retail manager." I took this to mean that he works as a shift supervisor at Moore's Menswear.
- Craig gave all Canadians a bad name with his ridiculous hair and pompous attitude. That said, I liked his tie. While I'm surprised Ali kept him, I'm thinking perhaps he is an ABC plant is being kept to bring the drama. I also didn't understand why they used the Toronto skyline when dude is from Sarnia ... I guess smokestacks and tract housing don't make for quality tv?
- Kasey has got to go ... buddy is way too over-eager. He kept on saying how he wanted to guard her heard - what does that even mean? It's protected by her rib cage, she doesn't need a kid named Kasey. The 3 of us watching also decided that he might have been deaf at some point as he had a bit of a weird speech thing going on ... or maybe it's just that he talks way too quickly?
- Jesse - the guy from Peculiar, Montana. His intro speech was lame, but he was rocking the 3-piece suit, which I love, so he can stay.
- Kirk - he's kind of like the male version of Tenley. But instead of dancing, he scrapbooks.
- Hunter played the ukulele, an instrument to which I take no exception. His song was pretty good too, althought it would have been better if he had somehow been able to incorporate Wes's "they say love don't come eaaaaaassssssyyyyyy ..." lyrics
- Roberto's dimples definitely give him an advantage - I pick him for final 2
- Chris L is my other pick. Black labs, beach-side property, sob story about his mother. I'm all over it.
- It was really too bad that Shooter led with the premature ejaculation story, because he was pretty cute.
- There were a few others whose names escape me, but am I ever glad she got rid of the lawyer in the powder blue suit with the bad hair because he was just awful. The guy from Vancouver was cute too, but he had some weird hair gel malfunction which made it look like had bangs. Not sure how I feel about Rated-R - not a fan of the soul patch, but I do feel that he didn't get a fair shake from the other guys. How can you not like a fake wrestler with a heart of gold, who speaks a mysterious slavic language with his grandmother?

I am sure I will thoroughly enjoy this season, especially when Ali gets a new stylist. I volunteer my services.

what not to wear

Big news this week - Stephen Harper's stylist is no longer being paid for by taxpayers. I've often wondered why it looks like he is wearing lipstick and eyeliner, and now I know - his stylist is a former makeup artist. I don't much care who pays for Harper's fashion advice, as long as we can avoid a repeat of the vest incident.

quatchi and sumi they are not

The London 2012 Olympic organizing committee unveiled their mascots today. Apparently their inspiration came from two drops of molten steel dropped while making the last girder for London's Olympic Stadium.

Umm, they have one eye and are extremely creepy looking. Not unlike teletubbies. But I guess kids love the teletubbies, and mascots are really just a marketing excuse for plush toys, which will be bought for children, so in a way, Wenlock (the one on the left) and Mandeville = success!

dbag central

On Friday night I met the girls for an apres-work drink at what is supposed to be the new cool downtown bar. It was definitely not. For one, the hostesses have to wear horrible pink outfits. And secondly, it's in the mall. I mean really. But it apparently has a huge rooftop patio ... too bad spring has not arrived in Alberta so we couldn't test it out.

On two separate occasions, completely unprompted, two of the ladies labelled it "douche bag central." For no reason really, except that it was filled with well dressed, corporate Calgary types. When seen in packs of 2 or 3, these men really are quite attractive, but for some reason, when seen in bunches of 10-15, you begin to question their motives. And so the dbag comment. It got me thinking that it's so weird that all of the sudden this insult is back in everyday usage ... so of course I googled it and found out that it crossed over from hygienic medical term into a pejorative name in the 60s ... http://www.drbilllong.com/SpellersDiary/Interlude.html. Who knew?

And as a postscript, as we were leaving the bar, who should walk by, but the Gaz (HC's ex) on his way to meet SS's ex-husband. Dbag central indeed.