abuse of the ellipsis

So only AH was able to make it to watch the Bachelorette on Monday night and she started of the evening telling me a funny story. On the weekend she was up at her cabin and her cousin Marco was also there. I don’t know if I have mentioned that AH is Greek, but she is and it’s a fundamental part of the story. So at one point Marco was playing with her son (let’s call him “Mikey”) and he had a Bert doll (as in Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street). As he grew up in Greece, he doesn’t know who Bert is, so in his game, Bert was “Mitchell” from the village. When AH asked him what and who the hell he was talking about, he explained that this random doll, with the mono-brow, looked exactly like Dimitri (English name Mitchell) from the small village back in Greece.

Now you may wonder what this has to do with the Bachelorette. Well the connection is tenuous, but it exists. I opined that Ashley would send home mask-guy and Greek guy. But then she picked Constantine first. What? He didn’t say a word the whole episode. English or Greek. Just one of the many moves Ashley made that had us all scratching our heads and wondering what the eff is wrong with her. It also got us wondering what the English name is for Constantine. After some extensive research (i.e. googling “English name for Constantine) it seems the answer is Constantine. Boring.

Moving on. If you look back at my many posts, you will notice that I’m a big fan of the ellipsis. I probably over use it, but I enjoy that when used properly, it can convey something that goes unsaid. I “dated” a guy who used the ellipsis at the end of every sentence in an email and it drove me crazy. I felt like I had to read between the lines to understand what he was saying. At the time, I figured he was the king of double speak. But Bentley’s insistence that his callous departure didn’t have to be goodbye, it could be “dot dot dot” takes the ellipsis to a whole new level and so I crown him the new king of double speak – or in a less polite term – bull shit. That said, I did not feel bad for Ashley as she was crying and talking to herself in bed, as she did it to herself, by believing that he was there for the right reasons and deciding that she was in love with him, after talking to him a total of 4 times. So thank you Chris Harrison stepping in and talking some sense into poor little Ashley. She definitely needed it.

So I would say that JP is still my front runner. He seems like a perfectly lovely, totally crush-worthy guy.* The problem of course is that Ashley is quite boring and has not proven herself to be that smart, so I will be very disappointed if he ends up with her. Much like Chris from Ali’s season, I hope that they don’t end up together and that he goes off into the sunset, away from the spotlight, and doesn’t end up in some ridiculous fame-whoring relationship with an insecure idiot like Ashley.

Why do I watch this show again?

*It should be noted that HC’s new boyfriend (he of the conservative leanings) is also perfectly lovely and totally crush-worthy and his name also happens to be JP. But he has a full head of hair and speaks with a French accent, so we can definitely rule out that it’s the same person. Phewf.