team dating

So a while ago I mentioned, in passing, the concept of team dating. Allow me to expand on this thought. I was in Seattle at the end of June with HC and SS, both of whom were going through some man drama. As the weekend progressed and we spent more time discussing the conversations that had happened, the texts that had been received and what came next, we realized that what we were doing was in fact “team dating.” I would like to clarify that we obviously didn’t invent team dating, as it goes back to the 17th century and Cyrano de Bergerac. Oh and Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah. I would just like to think that we perfected it. In our modern times, there are a variety of things that go into team dating, an essential one being Blackberry Messenger (an essential tool in my life that I have mentioned before).

This real time conversation brings many perks, but can also drive a person more than a little crazy. The issue is that you can see when the message has been delivered and then of course when it has been read. If it is marked open and there is no response, you start wondering what is going on and often times your mind goes the worst possible place, as in what you thought was witty and flirty was actually stupid and not at all suggestive. More likely though, dude just read it and then went to get another drink while pondering how to sound smart and sexy back. And can I just say that it is much easier to sound witty, flirty, smart, sexy and everything else when you have your friends around. Especially those of us who need a little entertainment in our lives and so are happy to push the flirting a little beyond the pale.

But you can’t rely on BB messenger too much because as I mentioned above, it can make you crazy. You have to find a fine balance - just like regular dating, you need to be available, but not too available. Hence the power of the last text. While in an argument you are always trying to get in the last word, but when it comes to BB messaging having the last word is sometimes a sign of weakness. It must be said that there is a certain power in letting the conversation hang. It’s the text message equivalent to being in a bar, seeing the guy you are trying to woo, but staying at your table and making him come to you (a tactic that I have never perfected by the way).

I bring this up now because I'm currently in a situation whereby a guy I know may or may not be interested in a friend of mine. He's a really friendly guy, so it's kind of hard to tell. He sent me an email suggesting the 3 of us go out for a drink. It should be noted that this didn't come completely out of left field because the drink idea had been floated by me earlier this summer, but we never really followed through. Not sure what prompted it 2 months later ... maybe he's just getting through his "to do" list? (that's what she said). So the funny thing is that now we are actually "team dating." She and I are collaborating over BB messenger what I should say in order to set her up for a witty flirty response. And so tonight the three of us are going out. Not sure of my role - Facilitator? Third wheel? Fingers crossed this is not some elaborate set up for a threesome. Cause that would be weird and inappropriate. But it would make for an excellent follow up post. Stay tuned.